There’s an incredible interpersonal phenomenon I’ve witnessed take place at scale as I’ve observed how people treat each other: duality of encouragement.
So easy to give and yet hardly anyone gives it.
And why I think it’s such a problem is because it’s INCREDIBLE how little of it someone needs to jump massive hurdles in their life. And oftentimes their parents sucked and didn’t do their job so they are looking for it from strangers.
It’s almost as if we are fearful to see other people grow and prosper out of need for our own significance.
And it’s most people who are afraid to ask for the same reasons. As a result, encouragement becomes this societal void that everyone needs but hardly anyone gets.
Burn Boot Camp is successful for this very reason. Encouragement is standard and it creates a breeding ground for confidence and self respect.
This is how I know we will have 10,000 of them.
And let’s be clear here – encouragement and praise are two very different things:
Praise stimulates rivalry and competition. Encouragement stimulates cooperation and contribution for the good of it all.
Praise focuses on the quality of performance. Encouragement focuses on the amount of effort and joy.
Praise evaluates and can feel judgmental; the individual feels ‘judged’. Encouragement involves little to no evaluation of the person or act; the person feels ‘accepted’.
Praise emphasizes a global evaluation of the person – “you are better than others because XYZ”. Encouragement emphasizes specific contributions – “you have helped in this way”.
Praise creates quitters. Encouragement creates triers.
Praise acknowledges winning. Encouragement allows failure.
Praise fosters dependence. Encouragement fosters self-sufficiency and independence.
Who will you encourage this week? I challenge you to take a look in the mirror and let that person be yourself.